A Comedienne in a Berry Patch

So the other day, I was in a berry patch, ya know?  Have you ever been in a berry patch, picking for hours and hours, and you finally look down, and you all you have is a handful of berries?  What's up with that?

It's like, is there a bear following behind me and picking all the berries out of my bucket when I'm not looking?  How did I manage to find the ONE vegetarian bear in this town?  A normal bear would have just eaten me and completely solved the problem.  Oh, wait...

But seriously, folks, I was so excited to find some juicy black raspberries (and a few red ones) in the middle of the city limits.  You know how you start picking, and then just a few feet further, there's The Branch, the big one, the branch that will FILL your basket...  Yeah.  There's always that branch.  But once you get to it, you realize that if you can just navigate a few feet further, there is AN EVEN BETTER BRANCH!  And you MUST partake of its berries.  And thusly, the siren song of the patch calls you, until finally you've been sucked in so far that you start to search for a familiar sight, but the next person you run into says something along the lines of "G'day mate!"

And then there's my picking partner, Mr. Eagle Scout.  You know what the Boy Scouts say, right?  Always "Be Prepared?"  You'd think that all their outdoorsy adventures would prepare them for the possibility of having to forage for food.  Well, apparently, those Boys seem to think that they're too prepared to ever have to ever scavenge.  According to Kyle, he was taught that there was one berry that was good for eating, and an identical berry that would cause you to vomit up a lung.  Who's prepared now?

Ouch.  Tough crowd today, I guess.  I can see Wendy the Waitress is going to have to make a few more rounds with the beers.

Or better yet, this Black Raspberry Gin Fizz!

Recipe from the oh-so-lovely smitten kitchen - with its original wording, because I especially loved the "share with someone you like" that Deb threw in at the end :)

Black Raspberry Gin Fizz

For 2 tall drinks

1/4 cup fresh black raspberries
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup (4 liquid ounces or just shy of 3 shots) gin
1/4 cup fresh lime juice (from two juicy limes)
Club soda
2 thin lime wedges [for garnish - which I totally forgot, because it's hard to be that fancy when you're camping]

Purée raspberries and sugar in a blender until as liquefied as possible. Strain purée through a fine-mesh sieve or cheesecloth into two tall or collins-style glasses; discard seeds in sieve. Divide gin and lime juice between glasses and stir to combine. Add ice to glasses then top each with soda and wedge of lime. (Might need another quick stir to combine.) Share with someone you like.

Alright, folks, you've been a great audience.  You've been...berry, berry kind.  Ba-dum tssh

Don't worry, I'll keep my day job...